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2014年11月SAT亚洲考场10分作文解析

滴答网 http://www.tigtag.com/  2014-12-04  新东方  我要评论(0)  阅读0

滴答网讯       SAT考试作文题目 When a project is not going well, should people simply quit or continue with what they started?

这个话题考察的是在困难面前是不是应该放弃,是一个典型的失败成功的题目。考题的难度不大。但是要想拿高分一定做到对题目关键词的一一剖析和对应。这是天宇同学的一篇考场十分作文,整体来说行文流畅细节清晰,但仍然有需要提高的地方。下面我们具体来看一下这篇作文。

开头段


In our daily life, there are lots of people who would be afraid of the difficulties and decide to quit if their projects are not going well. Nevertheless it is believed that people should insist on their goals and project, which is a better way to achieve their ultimate dreams. This concept is illustrated by the examples of Malala Yousafzai and Jack Welch. (用生活中的现象和直接引出开头段。观点清晰。)

开头段的重点其实就是明确地提出观点,作为下面论述的主线。所以这样的写法完全没问题。

但我们说sat写作是一个逻辑思维的考试, 所谓的逻辑思维就是斯思考每一个what后面的how 和why. 所以如果想要在开头段出彩,把观点背后的理由论述出来,比单纯的论述观点更加能够体现出缜密的逻辑思维。所以此处如果想要在分数上再有突破,可以在提出观点之后简单地带一下理由。为什么在continue with what they have started 和 simply quit 之间要选择前者。

例子是sat写作的核心。一般来说,8分跟10分的作文之间的差异并不是有没有例子说,而是看例子的切题性跟语言的问题。这两个考官会拿来参考的评分点虽然看起来抽象,但也也是有迹象可循的。下面我们来看一下例子。



1. If one was criticize by other people who don't support his or her opinion, one would think the project more carefully and program it as initial. (这个例子段的topic sentence, 总结了段落主旨:如果一个人被其他人质疑,他就会认真思考自己的计划,并且坚持初心地去实施它。这个TS虽说是对段落意思的高度总结,但是却存在两个问题: 1.逻辑不是非常经得起推敲。为什么被别人质疑的人,经过认真推敲就一定会坚持初心去实施原计划呢,他也有可能改变主意。前后两句话之前不存在必然的因果联系。逻辑缺失。 2. TS其实就是从一个角度来回答题目的问题,给观点提供支撑,也就是这篇文章的第一个why。可是这个TS却算是打了个擦边球。 题目问的是计划进行得不顺利的时候是应该坚持还是放弃,观点说是应该坚持,而TS却不是从为什么应该坚持这个角度拟出来的。 )

2. As an educational activist Pakistan, Malala Youfazai is known for her activism for the rights to education for women, especially in swat valley, where the Taliban had at times banned girls from attending schools. The Taliban believed that they should take control of the valley, an opinion that was initially rejected by people in swat district. Life under Taliban rules was tough; girls were deprived of their basic rights for education. (给例子段提供了一个背景的介绍,引出例子的基本情况, 为后文Malala 的行为奠定一个基础)

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